Artavus Quill

“I’d rather not,” Felix rebuffed.

“I’m afraid that’s not an option, Felix. Well… I suppose it is. You know the program is voluntary. Are you volunteering not to participate?” Kimberly replied.

Felix let the silence linger, eyeing the psychologist from the corner of his vision.

“What are you trying to find out?”

“What I asked. What are your thoughts or feelings about Elizabeth Blackwell?”

“She troubles me.”

“Go on. What about her troubles you?”

“Z… Blackwell pushes. She pushes buttons. It’s troubling.”

“It sounds like you’re saying she pushes your buttons, and you’re not sure how to feel about that.”

“I can’t get a fix on her, and she always seems to have me pegged. I don’t like her games.”

“Games?”

Felix looked at Kimberly for a long moment.

“Look, Felix. We’re just talking here. This really is a safe space, even if I am taking notes. Nothing you say here comes back to you. It’s just us. But I need to understand. There seems to be a block. Can you tell me what about your interactions with her makes you so resistant?”

“She confuses me. I don’t like being confused. Every time she shows up, things start happening that I can’t control. I try to talk to her, get her on my team, you know? But even when she agrees, it turns out there was some other agenda.”

“Okay.” Kimberly jotted a few notes before looking back up. “I heard several things there. Let’s start with confused.”

Felix let out an exasperated sigh.

“Confused… I think she’s… I don’t know… tricking me somehow.”

Kimberly’s expression softened slightly.

“Possibly. Let’s move on. You said things start happening.“

“Just so we’re clear, I’m very uncomfortable with this line of questioning, so please don’t quote me. I’m trying to figure it out as I say it. So… go easy on me. I could use some help, Doc.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not in a position to counsel you. But I hear your concern, and I’ll treat your responses with an appropriate level of ambiguity.”

Felix laughed at the carefully professional answer.

“When I say things start happening, I mean people start acting differently. Then they start doing things. It’s like… a vibration. Hard to explain, but I know it’s her. I just don’t know if she’s doing it intentionally.”

“You said you try to get her on your team. Do you feel like this is your team?”

Felix looked down at his hands.

“Yes. I know it’s our team. Everyone’s part of it. But… it’s my team. I know that sounds like some DSM diagnosis, but that’s what it feels like.”

Kimberly glanced at the pathology display and EKG before making another note.

“You also said she always seems to have another agenda.”

“That’s the part that confuses me. I can’t get an angle on her. I go this way, she goes that way. It’s frustrating.”

Kimberly closed her notebook for a moment, studying him.

“How would you describe your level of intimacy with Elizabeth Blackwell?”

She held his gaze.

Every monitor in the room lit up.